Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was confusing and full of hummus
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
