porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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