I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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