The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
