omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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