I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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