At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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