we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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