Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
