feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
