Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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