I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
