He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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