just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can't special order awesome
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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