Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
