"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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