ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My cat gives me a boner
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
