if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
