i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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