I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
