Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
