just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
