so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
