they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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