Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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