You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
