I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
