Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
