hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
