oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
