feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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