is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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