I think I died a long time ago.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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