Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
