Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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