So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
