Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
