In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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