I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
