Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
