dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
