he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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