Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize