handjob tips. give me some.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
