fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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