it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
