your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
