hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I puked a lego.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
