It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
