Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
