"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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