what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
