why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
