we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
