you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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